I love fantasy leagues, and, with the exception of professional basketball, have played and finished top two in my leagues numerous times. So starting with this 2012-2013 Fantasy Football season, I will cover the happenings of the wide world of…fantasy…
League: 3rd year.
Theme: Step Brothers’ Catalina Wine Mixer.
Name: Night Hawk, The Night Hawk Rises.
Finishes: 2010: 1st place 11-2 overall, 2011: 3rd place, 9-4 overall.
Picks: 10th, 6th (didn’t matter, missed the draft and auto-picked)
Heroes, 2010: Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Stevie Johnson, Mike Wallace, LaGarette Blount
Losers, 2010: Sidney Rice, Ronnie Brown, Robert Meachem
Heroes, 2011: Victor Cruz, Wallace
Losers 2011: Rashard Mendenhall, Tim Hightower, Rice.
Team Icon: MARMALARD.
Hooray, the last pick! There’s no sarcasm there, I love the last pick. Nothing like getting two players in a row and then taking some time off to laugh at your friends who have to use strategy. STRATEGY!
I already won with by far the best team (thanks waivers: picking up Johnson and Wallace was huge) and managed third place with a team I would have never picked. So I have nothing to prove, sorry coach.
This year I had only one strategy: roll the dice. Keep it interesting. Oh, and draft runningbacks.
1st and 2nd
So little here is guaranteed. My first two picks are big-name runners with big-time risks. Chris Johnson had a down season in 2011 after rushing for 2,000 the previous year, and Adrian Peterson is coming off surgery to repair his torn ACL.
Why did I pick these guys?
Chris Johnson wasn’t holding out this year, and got to camp on time. Sure there’s no passing game to spread the field for him, but that also means he’s probably getting the ball more. Same goes for Peterson.
Peterson is a beast. This guy has easily been the most dominant during his time in the NFL, and the man was already doing full sprints in April.
Who I passed up: Darren McFadden, Larry Fitzgerald, Matthew Stafford, Cam Newton, Matt Forte
3rd and 4th
Next, I wanted to fill the receiver position. A.J. Green had a fantastic first season, but could have a sophomore slump, especially being paired with Andy Dalton, who has been around just as long. After posting that article about him, I had to draft Brandon Lloyd, right? Right? Guys?
Why did I pick these guys?
Because I needed receivers and Green was the best available while, let’s face it, I succumbed to my own expectations about Lloyd.
Who I passed up: Fred Jackson, Michael Turner, Jordy Nelson, Mike Wallace (!!!), Phillip Rivers, Peyton Manning
5th and 6th
I needed to fill positions while giving my team depth. So I went with Robert Griffin III. I’ll just show the risks involved with him with this list:
- Troy Smith
- Matt Leinart
- Jason White
- Tim Couch
- Chris Weinke
- Danny Wuerffel
These are some past Heisman-winning quarterbacks…with unremarkable professional careers.
But he also could be a big deal, Cam Newton rewarded fantasy owners who rolled the die on him last year. RG3 was also a better passer than Newton in college, and he still has the wheels to scramble for a rushing TD or….seven…?
With the QB position filled, I picked Antonio Brown, a WR who has not proven himself for an entire season. He’s also competing with Mike Wallace for yards and TDs, and working under a new offensive coordinator.
Why did I pick him?
Because Wallace has held out, and Brown has looked great. Starting with week 7 last year, Brown showed off explosive speed and became a favorite target of Big Ben’s. Plus, he’s my third receiver, so it’s no the biggest risk ever. I considered this a major sleeper.
Who I passed up: Frank Gore, Jermichael Finley, Peyton Hillis, Dwayne Bowe, Torrey Smith
7th and 8th
This is where things start getting weird…
I picked up two more runningbacks, one for the flex position, and one essentially for the bench. So Willis McGahee and Stevan Ridley it is!
In all honesty, this good be the one that comes back to haunt me. McGahee is the top back on the Denver team and showed that he still had it last season, rushing for over 1,000 yards and four touchdowns. But he’s old, and Peyton Manning is running this offense now. Though, Addai sniffed out the endzone often on that old Indy team. So who knows?
Ridley, in similar fashion, could be worth a play because someone has to take BenJarvus Green-Ellis’ touchdowns. Unfortunately, he’s in a back-by-committee system that’s in a pass-heavy offense. Let’s face it, I picked because of homer-ism.
9th and 10th
I was going to just briefly say something about the rest of my roster, then saw these two picks. They’re hilarious, and I somehow have more confidence in these picks than the two above. Terrell Owens and LaGarette Blount
WHY THE HELL DID YOU PICK THESE TWO GUYS?
Answer: Pure gullyness. Thanks, Grantland.
The Rest of this God-Forsaken Team (in order of round picked)
Owen Daniels – Needed to draft a tight end, and he was the best available. Let’s hope Schaub’s foot is back to being normal.
Brandon Jacobs – Dropped him for Kenny Britt. Feel better, Kenny!!
Philadelphia Defense – They have all the former Pats DBs who were completed overvalued, right?
Dan Carpenter – Because no one is scoring touchdowns on that team.
Jacoby Ford – Dropped for…looks at roster…Leonard Hankerson. Because he’ll clearly catch 8,000 yards and 40TDs from RG3.
What does the future hold for this truly bizarre team…? Find out after week one!